How To Settle a Child Custody Agreement

Setting aside conflicts can be difficult in some cases. Yet, many parents do so to prioritize what they believe will be best for their children. This article provides an overview of how to settle on a child custody agreement.

Can I Settle Child Custody Out of Court?

Custody agreements can be settled out of court to an extent. However, they might not be enforceable without court approval. Some court involvement is necessary to get a child custody order. If the other party fails to follow your agreement, this court order gives you leverage to hold them accountable.

You could use several options to make an initial custody arrangement before presenting it in court, including:

• Negotiation
• Mediation
• Collaborative law
• Arbitration

While each option differs, all can help you create a parenting plan. The judge can then verify whether your child custody arrangement suits the child’s best interests.

Settling child custody isn’t always possible. In cases of strong disagreement, parental alienation, or abuse, parents may need a judge to intervene to keep the arrangement fair.

Benefits of a Child Custody Agreement

Out-of-court settlements for custody and visitation may offer benefits such as:

• Gaining more flexibility to choose the timing of custody or visitation schedules, which may give both parties a more convenient arrangement
• Potentially saving money and time by shortening the court process
• Avoiding the higher stress in a contentious custody battle
• Setting a peaceful tone for the start of co-parenting to maximize stability and prevent future conflict

Settlement methods may enhance collaboration and even improve relationships. Parents can learn to work together by engaging in the process. But both parties must be willing to engage.

Custody Settlement Through Informal Negotiations

Each person in a custody dispute may prefer to negotiate through a family law attorney. Otherwise, they may negotiate among themselves and consult their attorneys before finalizing the agreement.

If the parties agree, the family court can review and adjust or approve the agreement. The family court will make the final custody order. They are the final decision-making authority.

Alternative Dispute Resolution and Child Custody

An alternative dispute resolution (ADR) method can help you reach an agreement. Two methods are common in family law: mediation and collaborative law.

These ADR options are more casual and less adversarial than other methods. They encourage settling quickly and smoothly. Parents take an active role in making key decisions. They may have their attorney present to assist them in the process.

In some states, divorcing parents must try mediation to agree on child custody and parenting time first. If that fails, then they can go to court.

Arbitration is a more structured ADR method, though rare in family law cases. A neutral third party, or “arbitrator,” hears each side's arguments and decides the outcome. In a child custody case, the arbitrator's decision is not necessarily final. Parents may still resolve key issues later before they go to court.

Finalizing Custody Out-of-Court: Parenting Agreements

A successful child custody negotiation ends with a written agreement. This agreement may be called a "settlement agreement," a "custody agreement," or a "parenting agreement." This agreement usually requires a judge's signature to become a final order.

If the custody agreement is part of a divorce proceeding, the parents file both in the same court. There will be a court hearing. The judge will review the agreement. They will ask whether each party understands its terms and chooses to sign it voluntarily.

The judge wants to see that:

• The agreement was negotiated fairly
• The agreement is in the best interest of the child
• The agreement does not blatantly favor one spouse over the other

In considering the best interest of the child, the court will look at many factors. The family court will assess the child's relationship with both people. The court will consider the child's needs and the ability of each co-parent to meet those needs. Ultimately, the court will put the safety and well-being of the child first.

An agreement that meets those conditions will almost always receive court approval. The child custody or parenting agreement then becomes a binding court order or "decree."

Both parties must adhere to this parenting plan or face legal consequences. Later on, a child custody modification may be necessary to update the arrangement. Just like the original custody agreement, parents may agree to a new plan before filing with the court.

Types of Custody Arrangements

There are several different custody arrangements that the court may order. Generally, courts prefer awarding joint custody arrangements if it is in the best interest of the child. These are arrangements where parents share both joint legal custody and joint physical custody. 

Legal custody refers to the parent's ability to make major decisions about the child's life, such as health care, medical care, or education decisions. Physical custody refers to where the child lives on a day-to-day basis.

If the court finds that one parent is “unfit," the court may deem them the non-custodial parent. This might happen in instances of parental substance abuse or domestic violence. This parent may have to pay child support to the other parent. Child support is a financial obligation used to cover expenses for the child's life. The other parent will have sole legal custody and sole physical custody of the child, or some combination of both.

Even Agreeing Parents Can Use Legal Help With Child Custody Negotiations

Custody issues can be challenging, especially during a difficult parental separation. If you can work together cooperatively, you can save time and money while reaching a mutually acceptable agreement. Work with a professional to solve your child custody dispute. It's important to have a strong and skilled negotiator in your corner.

An experienced child custody lawyer can help provide you with valuable legal advice. They will advise you on your parental rights, custody rights, and visitation rights. A child custody attorney can assist with your court case until the end.