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Dream Lawsuit: Sears Sues RockHard Over DieHard Sex Spray

By Adam Ramirez on April 21, 2011 6:47 AM

Sometimes you hear about a lawsuit and just wish it had been you who handled the case. Jealousy hits as you ask yourself "Why couldn't I have gotten that case?"

Prepare to be jealous, this time of the in house counsel at Sears.

The Sears legal department recently discovered DieHard "sexual enhancement" spray, a desensitizing product that shares its unfortunate name with the retailer's line of DieHard car batteries.

Of course, Sears promptly took the good people at RockHard Industries, Inc. to court.

Sears recently filed suit in federal court against the pleasure hawking RockHard Industries over their DieHard spray, which is marketed as a desensitizing agent that will enhance a man's sexual stamina.

The lawsuit alleges that the sex spray infringes upon Sears' DieHard trademark, reports the Daily Mail. The Sears brand is used to sell sexless products, such as car batteries and work boots.

Because trademark law only protects against practices that confuse or deceive consumers, the Daily Mail reports that Sears is alleging that RockHard is deceiving the public into believing that the sex spray and its car batteries are related.

It's not clear how anyone can confuse a car battery with a sex spray that proudly proclaims that "she deserves it" and promises its purchaser that he will be "a legend."

RockHard's website also promotes the sex spray with a picture of a naked couple smiling for the camera.

Which brings us to the next point. Sears is also claiming that the DieHard sex spray tarnishes its image. Yes--the wholesome image that should prevent people from thinking that the company endorses sex spray.

Or sex at all.

C'mon Sears. Something tells us their DieHard trademark suit doesn't have legs.

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