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Lawyers drink. Lawyers drive. A lawyer getting arrested and accused of a DUI ordinarily isn't news.
But Rosanna Heinrichs, 27, of Louisville, Kentucky, just allegedly completed the hat trick of stupidity: On Sunday, she was pulled over for swerving while driving. According to police, she was driving while distracted by her attempts to order Domino's Pizza on her smartphone after drinking.
She admitted to both acts: drinking a half-bottle of wine and a beer before driving and to ordering third-rate pizza on her smartphone, reports Louisville's WDRB-TV. Let's recount her alleged sins, not in judgment or mockery, but as a means to learn from her unfortunate mistakes:
Ordering From Domino's Pizza
Hey, I was all about a cheap pizza pie when I was in school, but at a certain point in your life, you have to step your game up a bit. And that point is probably at or around the time you pass the bar and become a litigator.
Now, I know what you're thinking: it was 2:30 a.m. According to Yelp, at 2:55 a.m., which gives her plenty of time to grab a freaking cab, there are a number of well-reviewed pizza joints open at that time -- most stay open until 4 or 5 a.m. (Editor's Note: Maybe she was just trying to avoid the Noid?)
(Allegedly) Driving Drunk
Oh yeah, that. A half-bottle of wine and a beer? That's what, three drinks? We'll have to see how the case shakes out there, because she very well could be under the limit. But c'mon lady -- you're an attorney. Do you really want to explain this to character and fitness boards? Or have your name plastered all over newspapers and blogs?
Fiddling With a Phone While Driving
This might be the actual reason why she was pulled over. Have you ever tried to order a pizza online using your smartphone while driving? We sure as heck hope not -- texting while driving is bad enough. And then Heinrichs allegedly doubled-down by drinking before driving while distracted by Domino's: the trifecta.
Bonus: Admitting Everything
Maybe it's easier said than done, but most lawyers would tell their clients to not admit anything -- not the distracted by Domino's, not the drinking, nada. Make the officers work for their arrest, right? The police report states that Heinrichs admitted to drinking and admitted to trying to order a pizza on her smartphone while driving.
Unsurprisingly, she was booked on charges of operating a motor vehicle while under the influence and a communications device violation.
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