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A concerned neighbor in Michigan called 911 over what she thought was domestic violence, but it was all hot air, literally: The fight was actually over a fart.
One of the neighbors had heard somebody -- a female -- yelling, "Stop! No!" the police chief of Clawson, Michigan, told Detroit's WWJ Newsradio.
fart patrol neighbor also said that, in between shouts, she heard a repeated loud noise.
Police arrived soon after the call, and discovered what the whole stink was about.
"The female that was inside stated that her boyfriend had continued to pass gas, and she was yelling at him to stop," the police chief said.
Technically, a pretty heinous proverbial pulling of the finger could count as assault and/or battery. Generally, an assault is an attempt or threat to injure another person, while a battery would be actually contacting another person in a harmful or offensive manner.
In this case, the difference between an assault and battery is when the fart makes impact...
Don't think an ol' toot counts? Think again.
Leichtman v. WLW Jacor Communications is a classic battery case where a tortfeasor blew cigarette smoke in another's face -- and that counted.
In the realm of "special smoke," one man was charged with battery on an officer for farting, according to Fox News.
Yes, he farted on a police officer.
During fingerprinting for a DUI, Jose Cruz allegedly moved closer to one officer and passed gas. In the complaint, the officer noted a "very strong" odor.
It brings a whole new meaning to the idea of drop your weapon...
Fortunately for the man, the officer eventually cleared the air by dropping the fart charge.
The Michigan fart case also ended up being a harmless flatulence foible. Making light of the situation, the officers' report states that police then "Cleared the scene expeditiously."
Insert your favorite fart joke here.