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Everyone has different standards of dress for late-night grocery runs. Some won't leave the house without a fur coat, while the more adventurous amongst us are willing to head out in our pajamas and a pair of slippers.
But 18-year-old Jonathan Payton has taken grocery couture to a new level:
A cow suit.
Last Tuesday, a man in a cow suit entered a Garrisonville, Virginia Walmart crawling on his hands and knees to the dairy aisle. At about 10:35 p.m., he loaded a cart with 26 gallons of milk and nudged it outside.
The man in a cow suit then attempted to give away the stolen milk, but The Washington Post reports that he had no takers. Security then arrived, causing him to abandon the milk, and according to the Daily Mail, "skip down the street" upright on two feet.
The tale of our man-cow does not end here.
Police were then called to a local McDonald's on an unrelated incident, and The Washington Post reports that an officer noticed a man in the back of his car, eating a burger, and sitting next to a cow suit.
Jonathan Payton was later identified by store security, and booked and released on misdemeanor shoplifting charges, according to the Daily Mail.
Like this blogger, you're probably all thinking that it was just a joke--he was wearing a cow suit. Unfortunately, when Jonathan Payton removed the milk--worth $92--from the store, he officially committed theft, even if he did abandon it.
The law only cares that he intended to deprive the store of its property.