How to Write a Declaration Letter for Child Custody

Parents use child declaration letters to state their position to the court when they cannot agree on a custody agreement. They can also use declaration letters to request a modification to the current custody or child support agreement.

This article provides a comprehensive guide to writing a declaration letter for child custody cases, including a sample letter. It explains:

• What a declaration letter is and when it’s needed
• Step-by-step instructions on how to write a compelling letter
• Example of a declaration letter
• Tips for writing an impactful declaration letter

For more information and resources, see FindLaw’s Child Custody Law section.

Definition of Declaration Letter for Child Custody

A declaration letter for child custody is a written statement submitted to the family court that outlines a parent's position and concerns about the custody of their minor child. This document also includes specific requests for the legal custody arrangement, parenting time, and child support. It is often used as part of a larger legal custody proceeding.

A family court judge considers declaration letters when determining custody arrangements. In some situations, a non-parent representative of the child (like a guardian ad litem) may also review the declaration letter and make recommendations.

What Circumstances Necessitate a Declaration Letter?

Declaration letters are typically used when parents cannot agree on the terms of their custody arrangement. If parents need help from the family court determining a custody arrangement, they can submit determination letters to help present their perspectives, concerns, and supporting evidence to the judge.

Some states’ custody laws require both parents to submit declaration letters for custody proceedings. Even if not required under state law, individual courts or judges may require them.

A parent can also submit a written declaration letter to the court to request a modification to their custody order. This can occur if a parent believes the current arrangement is not in the child’s best interests. There are several reasons a parent may request a custody modification:

• Concerns about the child’s safety or health
• A change in circumstances (like a new job, home, or a change in the child’s needs)
• A parent plans to move to a different city or state.
• A parent is non-compliant with the current custody order.

What To Include in a Child Custody Declaration Letter

What you include in your declaration letter depends on your custody situation and jurisdiction. But, there are common elements you should contain:

• Details about the parent writing the letter, including their relationship to the child
• A description of the existing custody and visitation arrangement, if applicable
• Explanation of why the parent is seeking a change to the custody agreement or child support order
• Details of the proposed custody arrangement the parent is requesting, including schedules, responsibilities, and child support
• Evidence and documentation that supports the parent's claims or requests
• An explanation of how the proposed arrangement prioritizes the child's best interests

The next section goes in-depth on what to include and how to write your declaration.

Example of Declaration Letter

A well-written child custody declaration letter can be a powerful tool in effectively presenting your case to the court.

This template will will help you draft your declaration letter. Following the structure below will help you articulate your perspective, state your requests, and support your claims to the judge. Each section provides specific guidance on what to include and example language you can use to inspire your own letter.

Header

Use the basic instructions below to create the header for your declaration letter. Some courts use a specific declaration form—ask the court clerk about this before you start.

[Your Full Name]
[Your Address]
[Email Address]
[Phone Number]
[Date]

Re: Child Custody Declaration for [Court Case Number]

To: The Honorable [Judge’s Last Name]
[Family Law Court Address]

Introduction

If custody proceedings are part of a divorce, state the date of your marriage and dissolution. If you and the other party were not married, state the start and end of your relationship or when you stopped cohabitating. Include the name and dates of your child or children and when they were born.

Next, clearly state the current custody arrangement, what you seek to modify, and why. Including a current arrangement is not needed for an initial custody agreement.

I, [Your Name], am writing this declaration to provide information regarding the custody of my child, [Child's Name], born on [Child's Date of Birth].

I am [Child’s Name]’s mother. The respondent and I currently have a joint custody agreement for both physical and legal custody. I am seeking a modification to this arrangement, to sole physical custody and sole legal custody, as well as an increase to the full child support guideline. I am requesting these modifications due to the respondent’s non-compliance with our current custody arrangement and child support order.

Background and History

Next, provide context for the custody situation. Use this section to help the judge understand your child’s living conditions and home environment. Be sure to touch on:

• Any special needs your child has
• School and extracurricular information
• Medical care
• Both parents’ employment information and how it relates to their parenting
• Any other relevant information

After our divorce in 2022 and subsequent joint custody agreement, [Child’s Name] has spent the majority of their time with me in my home. Under our current agreement, the respondent has parenting time every/other weekend. We also have with a separate calendar of parenting time for holidays.

I have been employed full-time at ABC Media since 2016 with typical daytime hours, Monday through Friday. The respondent has had intermittent employment since our divorce and has stopped notifying me when they stop or start a new job.

I have been the primary physical and emotional caregiver for our child since our divorce. Doing this alone has not been easy but I will do whatever necessary to ensure my child’s well-being and stability. They attend school at XYZ Montessori and occasionally attend the school’s after-school program when I have work events (approximately 2-3 times per month). They also participate in softball and music lessons, for which I cover all costs and provide transportation.

Problems With Current Custody Arrangement

In this section, detail the issues with the custody arrangement. This section should be as succinct as possible. Stick with the facts—you’ll use the following section to provide evidence supporting what you state here. Do not make accusations you cannot back up with supporting documentation or evidence.

The respondent followed this agreement properly for approximately 60 days after our divorce. Then, they became increasingly late for pick ups and drop offs. They also became increasingly unreliable for their parenting time with a consistent record of texting or calling me last minute to say they could not take [Child’s Name] for their scheduled parenting time.

There have also been multiple instances where the respondent failed to pick our child up from school on scheduled Fridays and missed scheduled holidays. There have also been several times when the respondent did not call or contact on their birthday, first day of school, and other momentous events for a child. The respondent has also failed to make scheduled child support payments and now owes over $5,000 in past-due support.

[Child’s name] is a happy and well-adjusted child overall. However, they have expressed to me several times the hurt and disappointment of not seeing their other parent. This is even more painful for them when the respondent fails to follow through on scheduled parenting time.

I am committed to ensuring the well-being and stability of my child and believe the proposed arrangement is in their best interest. I am willing to work collaboratively with the respondent to ensure a healthy and supportive environment for [Child's Name].

Supporting Evidence

Use this section for evidence of the issues you’ve discussed above. Supporting documentation could include:

• Photos
• Bank statements and pay stubs
• Records of correspondence and messages
• Medical or legal documents
• Witness statements or affidavits
• Other evidence that supports your claims

Make sure to redact any sensitive info.

Attachment A shows a record of messages from the respondent regarding their inability to take our child for their scheduled parenting time. This attachment illustrates that they have failed to follow through with their scheduled parenting time approximately 90% of the time since April 2022.

Attachment B is a record of child support payments, including all missed payments. This record shows the respondent owes $5,062 in past-due child support.

Attachment C contains several financial documents that illustrate my expenses and income. You will see here how I rely on child support income to cover our child’s costs ands expenses.

• Bank statements
• Pay stubs from ABC Media
• Mortgage statements and utility bills
• Credit card statements
• Invoices for children’s extracurriculars and after-school care
• Medical bills
• Monthly household budget

Your Requests

Be specific about what you are requesting for custody and other support. Keep in mind that what you ask for should reflect the best interests of the child standard. Your requests could be regarding:

• Legal custody arrangement (such as sole physical custody or legal custody)
• Parenting time schedule
• Holiday parenting time schedule
• Child support payments

Due to the above reasons, I am requesting sole physical and sole legal custody of [Child’s Name]. I am also requesting an increase to the full child support guideline and enforcement action to collect arrears. I believe these modifications will better support the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of our child.

Conclusion

End your declaration letter with a concise summary of your proposals and why they will benefit your child. Conclude your letter by saying everything you have stated is true, under penalty of perjury. You may also need to notarize it.

To summarize, I am requesting a modification to sole physical custody and sole legal custody of [Child’s Name], and an increase to the full child support guideline and enforcement action to collect arrears. I believe these modifications will enable me to better provide for our child’s needs and promote a more stable, consistent environment and schedule.

What I have stated in this letter in true to the best of my personal knowledge under penalty of perjury in the state of [Your State].

Sincerely,

[Your Signature]
[Your Printed Name]

Tips for Writing an Effective Child Declaration Letter

1. Proofread your declaration letter carefully before submitting to the judge. A family law attorney can also review and advise on the contents of your letter.

2. Some states use a specific declaration form. If not, a judge may appreciate if your letter is on pleading paper, or a specific format of paper used for filing legal documents. You can find a pleading paper template in Microsoft Word.

3. Respect the judge’s time by being as concise as possible. Include all pertinent information on your declaration letter, but avoid unnecessary details or repetition.

4. Keep the heart of your letter on your child's best interests. What you are requesting should ultimately point back to improving the well-being of your child.

5. Maintain a respectful and neutral tone. The judge should be able to focus on the facts without being distracted by your emotions.

6. Bold your headings and write in shorter paragraphs. This makes it easier for the judge to read and grasp the key points of your declaration. It’s okay to write in plain language—a judge won’t expect you to write like a lawyer as long as you communicate clearly and honestly.

Need More Help With Your Declaration Letter? Get Legal Help

Custody battles can be contentious, especially if part of divorce proceedings. While some parents can agree on a parenting plan and custody agreement out of court, some couples need the family court to decide on a custody court order. If this is true for you, having an experienced attorney on your side can help you best present your case to the judge.

A family law attorney can represent you this process, including drafting and reviewing a declaration letter. They will provide valuable legal advice and advocate for the best interests of your child. Contact a local family law attorney or divorce attorney to learn how they can support you and your child.