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Maniacal Marketing: More Bad Lawyer Commercials

By William Peacock, Esq. | Last updated on

There is just something about lawyers and terrible TV ads that are inherently connected. Now, we all know lawyers aren't creative types. We're cold, analytical, type-A sharks with no souls. Any semblance of humanity or creativity was wiped from our minds during three years of "legal education."

As such, we can excuse all kinds of terrible, terrible ads, especially the boring stereotypical TV spots, such as "Guy in a suit in front of books can help you!" or "Smith and Associates got me money for my accident!" But the truly inexcusable ads, well, take a look for yourself:

Heavily Somnolent

Where do we start? How about suggesting that this fine attorney write a script before jumping in front of a camera? He’s obviously winging it, which means he stutters, repeats himself, and sounds unable to express coherent thought. Better yet, if you’re not photogenic, or not er, totally there, perhaps you should consider hiring an actor or an associate to appear on camera instead?

Here’s the thing, despite the clichéd lawyer-in-a-suit explaining law format, the production value isn’t terrible. It’s just, this guy is the least captivating individual to ever stand in front of a camera. If he’s not on heavy sedatives, his viewers will feel like they are.

On the bright side, if you are ever suffering from insomnia, there are 118 videos by Mr. Cagle on YouTube.

Heavily Patriotic

He’s a lawyer, and some have even said, a lunatic. Don’t get in his way. We’ll give him some credit: at least he’s straightforward and avoids all stuffy attorney stereotypes. And yes, this is a real ad. His website is Though we admire the creativity, we’d suspect more clients would be scared of him than convinced of his merits as an attorney.

Heavily Embarrassing

Stop. Just stop. Please God, make it stop. You’re trying to be edgy, funny, whatever. Please tell us that you paid for primetime advertising during reruns of Law and Order so that all of Orange County could enjoy the majesty of this painful duet with Vanilla Ice Latte. “Word.” “Yeeeeeaaahhhh boy.” The part where he dances with his Southwestern Law School diploma is especially nice. We’d bet the school was overjoyed by the cameo.

What You Should Do

Be intelligent. Be respectful of your viewers. Be yourself. Be advised by an expert. Or, if all else fails: This, right here.

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