For many, any holiday is greeted with open arms and enthusiasm. Not only does it often mean paid time off from work, but it can also provide an opportunity to spend time with family members and friends. Whether it’s sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner, drinking green-colored beer, or embracing your faith with other members of your community, holidays are considered a time to have fun and make new memories.
Unfortunately, it can also be a time of increased stress and danger for victims of domestic abuse. Stressors are placed on abusive relationships at family gatherings and other scenarios, such as an increase in financial pressures brought on by holiday seasons. Does that mean seasonal celebrations are a causal factor for domestic violence increases?
Regardless of whether it’s a holiday or not, domestic abuse is a crime. Nobody deserves to be a victim. If you’re in immediate danger from an abusive partner or family member, call 911. For other abusive situations, help is available through local domestic violence advocates or the National Domestic Violence Hotline site (thehotline.org) or the 800.799.SAFE (7233) helpline. Having a safety plan in place can make a huge difference. Additional answers and help are available at FindLaw’s Domestic Violence Law and Research Center.
The Relationship Nobody Wants
Domestic violence is a serious crime at both the state and federal levels. Domestic abuse is about power and control gained through a pattern of abusive behavior. While it’s common to associate domestic violence with physical abuse, it’s also expressed through sexual assault, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, and causing financial strain by denying access to funds. Also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse occurs between loved ones, family members, and housemates.
It seems natural to think that domestic violence incidents would increase during certain times of the year. Holiday stress combined with free time can be a dangerous combination for some, and what’s supposed to be a time of togetherness and social gatherings can instead become a nightmare. Do the holidays make things worse for victims of domestic abuse?
The Wrong Kind of Fireworks
There’s no one definitive study firmly linking a rise in domestic violence incidents with holidays, but some research supports the theory. Many domestic violence advocacy agencies report an increase in calls for their support services on and around holidays. An IPV study based on data gathered between 2005 and 2017 showed that 15% of all domestic violence-related visits to emergency rooms occurred during holiday periods, with New Year’s Eve having the highest incident rate..
Not all domestic abuse incidents involve treatment at a medical facility, which means those numbers could be even higher. What is it about holidays that incites episodes of domestic violence? Several factors may be contributing to the unwelcome increase:
- More time together: Holidays are usually days off from work, which means more time spent around an abuser. A long weekend can become too long when physical violence and other forms of abuse are involved. It also limits the opportunities for victims to practice self-care and personal wellness.
- Increase in financial stress: Holidays can be very expensive, especially when gifts are involved. Abusers may feel compelled to take out their frustration over their financial situation on those around them.
- Traveling: Getting from one place to the other on crowded roads or packed airports can be stressful in the best of relationships. The added pressures and frustrations can exacerbate an abuser’s need to exert control over their victims.
- More access to vices: For many, having a drink or some legal cannabis can make a holiday even more enjoyable. When either alcohol consumption or substance abuse is added to a potentially abusive situation, the results are often far less benign. Substance use can cloud judgment and lead to dangerous and potentially fatal consequences.
- Social gatherings: Holidays often serve as an opportunity to spend time with extended family members. While everyone’s family dynamics are different, some abusers may feel compelled to demonstrate their power and control in front of the victim’s loved ones. They may also opt for keeping their victim from attending, as isolation is a common tactic for domestic abusers.
With these and other holiday-related factors adding additional stress to an already volatile situation, it’s not difficult to understand any upswing in abusive episodes during these periods.
How To Help
Whether you’re gathering for a barbecue on the 4th of July, a big family meal on Thanksgiving, or a party as Memorial Day rings in the beginning of summer, nobody wants a holiday to turn into violence, abuse, and a 911 call. If you are not a victim but suspect a friend or loved one is, you can’t make decisions for them. But you can offer support and be there if they do reach out for help. This applies to holiday get-togethers as well.
There are simple ways to try to prevent incidents. If you’re able to communicate safely with the victim before the holiday, set up a code word they can use to let you know they need immediate help without alerting the abuser. If drugs or alcohol are likely to have a negative effect on the abuser, consider excluding them. Try to designate somewhere as a safe space for the victims, and see if it’s possible to otherwise occupy the abuser to give them some downtime. Check in with them whenever possible to assess their mental health.
Whether or not it’s a holiday, there are no winners when it comes to domestic abuse. The best case is to help victims of domestic violence become survivors of domestic violence. Keep their situation in mind when making holiday plans and help make sure they’re aware of the people and organizations that may be able to help them.
Related Resources
- Who Can Domestic Violence Victims Go To for Help? (FindLaw’s Family Law)
- Domestic Violence Trials: 5 Tips for Victims (FindLaw’s Domestic Violence Law)
- State Domestic Violence Laws (FindLaw’s State Family Law)
