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Taboo Tabou isn't just any Chicago sex shop. There's a certain refinement, a sophistication if you will, that one must bring when entering this purveyor of crotchless panties, silicone third legs and Japanese neck massagers.
So when Cook County prosecutor Sarah Naughton showed up, feeling naughty but also spitting, sputtering and stumbling about after a day of drinking, the ladies of Taboo Tabou asked her to leave. When that didn't work, they dragged her butt to the curb. The rest of Naughton's naughty night is happily preserved on YouTube, police reports and, now, an agreement to have her license suspended.
Feeling Frisky and Looking For a Fight
It all started with a simple Cubs game and a day's worth of boozing. In September, 2012, while she was working as a Cook County prosecutor, Naughton went to Wrigley Field with her "male companion," Bradley Gould. As one does when watching sports, they got absolutely smashed, moving from game drinks to bar drinks to restaurant drinks. Allegedly.
And since nothing goes better with baseball and beers than a new bustier, the couple headed over to the local sex shop. It was barely 7:30 p.m. Instead of politely surveying the store's collection of stimulating gels and edible underwear, they stumbled about cursing until they were asked to leave. Allegedly.
When a neighboring cigar store worker came over to help Taboo Tabou out, Naughton "fell to the ground at [his] feet and grabbed his legs. She then got up and began yelling that she had been assaulted," according to the petition against her.
What happened to the male companion? After scraping with the cigar store worker, he fell over, cracked open his head and began wiping his blood across the sex shop windows. Naughton, who had ran off, came back to bite the same worker in the ankle, hard enough to draw blood. Some of the aftermath, including Naughton's arrest, made it on to YouTube. Alleged ... oh, you know.
A second video showed Naughton slip out of her cuffs while in the back of a patrol car, take a swipe at a cop, and begin kicking the car's window, according to the Chicago Sun-Times.
A Slap on the Wrist, Not a Bite on the Ankle
In the end, Naughty Naughton got off pretty lightly, given the circumstances. She and Gould were charged with attempted official misconduct, battery, resisting arrest, criminal trespass to property and disorderly conduct -- and acquitted of all charges. (Above the Law thought witness tampering might be involved; the Sun-Times claimed "family connections to Ed Vrdolyak and the South Side Joyce clan" were at play.)
She still faced bar discipline, but consented to a brief, 30-day suspension of her license which the Illinois Supreme Court has accepted, the Legal Profession Blog reported last week.
Naughton resigned from the prosecutor's office less than a year after the initial incident. We hope she's also found a new store to do her adult shopping at in the future.