You can pick anything: ruby, sapphire, even your favorite semiprecious stone en cabochon (very cocktail, very coastal grandma). Still, you don’t want a gem that’s too soft for everyday wear, like pearl or opal. Your jeweler can reset gemstones from an old wedding ring, if you want. It’s up to you; after all, it’s your divorce.
New Chapter, New Ring
According to reports in Vogue and The Guardian, luxury jewelers have seen a rise in requests for divorce rings. Celebrities like Emily Ratajkowski, as well as affluent professional women, have commissioned or bought extraordinary new rings to commemorate a new era in their lives.
It isn’t just a New York or London fad. Women of all classes have started seeking rings or other jewelry to commemorate the end of a relationship, and jewelers have created new categories to meet the demand. Some ask jewelers to repurpose heirloom or engagement rings, a public statement of a new beginning. Others seek fresh expressions for a fresh start, new pieces that are more personal.
It's a telling trend. Within living memory, a wedding ring was a serious investment, and a divorce was only spoken of in whispers. Can this fashion trend tell us something more about the moment—about shifting social attitudes towards marriage and relationships?
Empowerment, Fear, Triumph, and Symbolism
Sixty or seventy years ago, a divorce ring would be unthinkable because divorce itself often was. Even a wealthy woman might have to settle for demanding a cushion-cut tennis bracelet from her husband after his latest affair.
In 1969, California was the first state to legalize no-fault divorce. Fault-based divorce requires grounds, such as adultery or abandonment, and it can be protracted and difficult. When couples agreed to divorce, one party might have to pretend to be caught in adultery or “abandon” the other by moving away. If a woman’s husband would not cooperate in a divorce proceeding, he could use financial abuse or physical threats to keep her in the marriage.
The rise of no-fault divorce has allowed generations of men and women alike to build new lives. However, prominent social conservatives, including Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, have offered arguments that no-fault divorce is a driver of social decay and support tighter divorce laws. Johnson and his wife, Kelly, entered into a legal "covenant marriage" in 1999, which requires specific reasons to divorce.
Has the divorce ring developed in these uncertain 2020s because it strikes a chord? Although men can certainly buy their own divorce rings, the trend focuses on sales to women. A woman’s divorce ring may only be a piece of jewelry, but it is her own choice, to her own taste, and the law has no claim on it.
Wedding Rings, Engagement Rings, and the Law
The old “two or three months’ salary rule” is really from industry ads, and the solitaire diamond ring is an invented tradition. Even so, the custom of wedding rings and engagement rings is over a thousand years old. The quality of the rings has long been seen as a major investment in a relationship. Who is entitled to keep them if the engagement breaks or the marriage fails?
Today, each U.S. state has its own law on this question. Some consider the engagement ring a conditional gift, to be returned if the marriage does not take place. Others may award the engagement ring to the party who did not cause the breakup. After a divorce, some states allow each spouse to keep their respective wedding band, wedding ring, and engagement ring. However, laws and circumstances differ everywhere, especially when heirlooms are involved. And in any case, a divorcing couple still has to divide their assets in one way or another. A particularly valuable ring may have to be sold.
But a divorce ring will never have to be sold—at least, not if the buyer has waited properly and secured their decree. A spouse who spends too much before the divorce is final may be accused of dissipating marital assets: wasting money to keep it out of the ex’s hands. Family law courts do not look kindly on this.
Self-Love and Celebration
Although Rachel Zoe jokes about buying “the divorce ring of my dreams,” no one dreams of having to get divorced. They dream of freedom, of choosing how they appear and how they enjoy their free time and money. Whenever a divorce offers someone more choice and comfort than marriage, she will likely want to celebrate it however she can: with cake, with travel, or with carats.
Related Resources
- Considering Divorce This Holiday Season? Here's How To Plan for a Fresh Start. (FindLaw's Law and Daily Life)
- Your Comprehensive Guide to Divorce Options (FindLaw's Learn About the Law)
- The Legal Side of Bronwyn Newport and Todd Bradley’s Utah Separation (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
