"Are We Dating the Same Guy?" is a women-only Facebook chat group owned by Spill the Tea, Inc., that's dedicated to sharing information about the men they've dated to help each other watch out for people they consider toxic. While most posts are centered on supporting each other and enjoying each other's company, some focus on the bad experiences suffered in the pursuit of romance. Given how online apps have changed the dating world, having a location to warn others about red flags seems logical.
If touted by the group as a problematic male suitor, some men might feel moved to defend themselves. Nikko D'Ambrosio, when cited as toxic on the site, went in a different direction. Some would say he grabbed every red flag he could and waved them vigorously.
Unfortunately for D'Ambrosio, that approach isn't always effective in court. On May 13, 2025, D'Ambrosio's lawsuit against a woman who briefly dated him, various members of the "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" site, and Meta, the parent company of Facebook, was dismissed with prejudice in federal court.
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After going on a few dates with D'Ambrosio in Chicago in November 2023, Abbigail Rajala seemed pretty sure she hadn't found Mr. Right. She listed what she considered to be his red flags on the Facebook site, including a text he sent on a different number after she'd blocked the one they'd been communicating through:
"Speak for yourself you ugly vial fake wh*re. Your ego matches that fake f*cking face where you can’t even smile in pictures because your teeth are so f*cked. The truth hurts b*tch and my message will stay with you forever c*nt."
D'Ambrosio became aware of the post and demanded it be taken down. Rajala did so from the account under her name, but reposted it under an anonymous handle.
Another member of the forum linked to an article about a person charged with criminal sexual assault, which D'Ambrosio said was done to suggest he was that person despite having a different name. Indeed, that was incorrect. The crime D'Ambrosio would soon be convicted of had nothing to do with sexual assault. It was falsely overstating his business expenses and charitable contributions on his tax returns. These included claims that he drove 474,000 miles for work, incurred $263,000 in business-related meal expenses, and had made over $60,000 in apparently fictitious donations to a church over two years.
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D'Ambrosio's second amended complaint consisted of nine counts against Rajala, Spill the Tea, other members of the forum, and Meta. This was after several attempts to draft his lawsuit, and the defendants argued that D'Ambrosio provided neither proof nor justification for any of them.
The overall theme of D'Ambrosio's suit was that the forum's defamation of his character negatively affected his professional career as a salesperson for an Illinois-based electronic sweepstakes kiosk operator. His charges against the collected defendants were:
- Misappropriation under the Illinois Right of Publicity Act (IRPA)
- Unjust enrichment
- Defamation per se
- Doxing
- Invasion of privacy by false light and conspiracy
- Strict product liability
- Negligence
- Negligent entrustment
- Defamation per quod
While D'Ambrosio may have hoped to strike a blow for men considered toxic on certain forums everywhere, United States District Judge Sunil R. Harjani wasn't impressed by his complaint. Citing numerous reasons that included a lack of discernible injury to D'Ambrosio's employment, the fact that Meta's forums are not considered a product for a strict liability claim, and that Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act of 1996 covered the discussions of the "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" site, Judge Harjani granted the defendants' motion to dismiss the suit in its entirety.
Judge Harjani did so with prejudice, which means the lawsuit is finished. D'Ambrosio has time to consider if he wants to try a different legal approach while he serves his year and a day sentence in federal prison.
Related Resources
- What Is Product Liability? (FindLaw's Product Liability Law)
- Defamation vs. False Light: What Is the Difference? (FindLaw's Torts and Personal Injury Law)
- After Executive Order Condemning Online Censorship, Should Social Media Companies Fear Liability? (FindLaw's Practice of Law)
