When parents cannot agree on a custody arrangement, the court is left with a tough decision. The court will consider many factors when deciding to whom to award custody. In many cases, a consideration of the various factors results in an award of custody to the parent who has been the child's primary caretaker.
The following checklist can help you and your attorney establish who has been the primary caretaker in your family.
Checklist: Who Gets Custody?
Who was usually or most often responsible for performing the following childcare responsibilities?
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Task |
Parent 1 |
Parent 2 |
Shared |
Feeding infant
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Feeding younger children
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Changing diapers
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Holding/cuddling
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Preparing meals
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Packing lunches
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______
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______
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Grocery shopping
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______
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Dressing
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Doing laundry
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______
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Buying clothing
|
______
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______
|
______
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Maintaining clothing
|
______
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______
|
______
|
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Bathing
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______
|
______
|
______
|
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Washing hair
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______
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______
|
______
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Styling hair
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Brushing teeth (help with or enforce)
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Putting to bed
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______
|
______
|
______
|
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Reading stories, books
|
______
|
______
|
______
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Helping with homework
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______
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______
|
______
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Taking to/picking up from school
|
______
|
______
|
______
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Taking to/picking up from extracurricular activities
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______
|
______
|
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Conferencing with teachers
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|
______
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Attending school open houses
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______
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______
|
______
|
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School volunteering
|
______
|
______
|
______
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Choosing schools
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|
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|
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Helping choose classes
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|
______
|
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|
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Attending PTA/PTO meetings
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______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to/picking up from religious services
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to/picking up from religious classes
|
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|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to/picking up from sports activities
|
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|
______
|
______
|
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Coaching sports teams
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to/picking up from lessons
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to/picking up from play dates
|
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|
______
|
______
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Arranging play dates
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Hosting play dates
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to/picking up from birthday parties
|
______
|
______
|
______
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Hosting birthday parties
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Shopping for gifts for friends
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Shopping for gifts for the child
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Shopping for school supplies
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Shopping for toiletries
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to doctor
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to dentist
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to orthodontist
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Making doctor/dentist appointments
|
______
|
______
|
______
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Taking care of the sick child
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Hiring babysitters
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Picking up/dropping off babysitter
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Arranging daycare
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to/picking up from daycare
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Planning holidays
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Planning vacations
|
______
|
______
|
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|
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Teaching values
|
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|
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|
______
|
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Teaching manners
|
______
|
______
|
______
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Monitoring chores
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Teaching sex education
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Taking to park
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Playing with indoors
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Playing with outdoors
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Cleaning home
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Maintaining home
|
______
|
______
|
______
|
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Other (please list):
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________________________________
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________________________________
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________________________________
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________________________________
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________________________________
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________________________________
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________________________________
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________________________________
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For more information on this topic, return to FindLaw's Who Gets Custody section, or visit the Child Custody section for other related topics.
How Do Courts Decide Custody?
Courts decide custody using the “best interests of the child" standard. Ultimately, the court prioritizes placing the child in a stable, safe environment. The court will consider several different relevant factors in the child custody case. Examples of the factors the court considers when deciding custody of the child include:
- The child's preferences (if the child is old enough)
- The needs of the child
- The parent who serves as the primary caregiver of the child
- The ability of each parent to provide care for the child
- The physical health and mental health of each parent
- Any evidence of parental substance abuse, child abuse, or domestic violence
The court looks at these factors together to make custody decisions. Remember, the court will always make custody decisions based on what is in the best interests of the child.
What Are the Different Types of Custody Arrangements?
The court may award a few different types of custody arrangements. Typically, courts prefer to give joint custody to parents, meaning that they share joint legal custody and joint physical custody. Legal custody refers to the ability of a parent to make major decisions about the child's life. Important decisions might include topics like education, healthcare, medical care, religion, or the child's upbringing. Physical custody refers to where the child lives and who cares for the child on a day-to-day basis.
If the court finds that a parent is "unfit," they might give the other parent sole custody of a child. This can be sole legal custody and/or sole physical custody. This type of custody order is usually entered if there is any evidence of child abuse or domestic violence. The parent who loses their custodial rights is called the non-custodial parent. In the court order, they might be obligated to pay child support to the custodial parent.
The non-custodial parent still has visitation rights. They are entitled to parenting time under the parenting plan. This is because the court supports the child's relationship with both parents. The parent's visitation might require supervision if the safety of the child is a concern.
Who Gets Custody? Get More Clarity From a Lawyer
Child custody disputes can be among the most contentious and complicated kinds of legal situations a person can face. The emotional toll of custody battles can make it difficult to focus on the technical aspects of your case.
Getting the help of a family law attorney can help you tremendously. They can advise you on the custody laws of your state. They will provide valuable legal advice about your parental rights and legal rights overall. Lawyers can represent you in family court.
Talk to an experienced child custody attorney today.