Girls Gone Wild Meets My Cousin Vinny: Joe Francis' Represents Self

Girls Gone Wild owner Joe Francis became rich and infamous for filming Spring Break drunkenness and nudity. Now he's being undressed by a Florida judge for fumbling through his first attempt at being a lawyer.

That's right, Francis has put down the camcorder and beads and is serving as his own attorney in a Florida court and let's just say he hasn't ingratiated himself to the exasperated judge nor the jury composed of 8 women.

Wait till you read about Francis' courtroom antics. It truly appears as though the jet-setting pornographer prepared for his attorney debut by watching My Cousin Vinny.

Joe Francis is now being held in contempt of court in a civil case brought against him by four young women who were filmed by Girls Gone Wild crews while they were underage.

"You have truly been behaving like a four-year-old. It's going to stop," Judge Richard Smoak said, WMBB-TV reports. Smoak added that he'd never seen someone act like Francis in his 40 years of courtroom experience. "This is the final warning. Conduct yourself like you would at your Grandmother's house."

Panama City Judge Smoak ruled that Francis was in contempt for violating an evidentiary rule during cross examination of a witness and promptly ended Francis' cross examination of that witness, WMBB-TV reports.

The local media described Francis as "unfamiliar with courtroom procedures." (Uh, ya think?) He also appeared frustrated when told several times to sit down and be quiet. (Yeah, we all hate that really.) Most of his objections were overruled, and dozens of his comments had to be stricken from the record by the judge. (This lawyer thing isn't as easy as it looks is it?) Before a lunch break, he was told to calm himself again. (Breathe, counselor, breathe.)

Judge Smoak also asked Francis if he had consumed any medications before coming to court. Francis attributed his behavior to ADHD and excess amounts of coffee. "I will sit on my hands for the rest of this trial because I do not want to be incarcerated," Francis told the judge, WMBB reports.

Judge Smoak had to instruct Francis how to cross examine the plaintiff. "Everything you say needs to have a question mark after it," Judge Smoak said.

Francis replied, "I'm going to make it like Jeopardy, your honor."

A law school Evidence professor couldn't have said it better, Joe.

Related Resources:

• Joe Francis Is Now His Own, Terrible Lawyer (Gawker.com)
• Addicted to bits: Smartphones are our new drug of choice (CNN Money)
• iPhone v. Blackberry: Apple Targets BigLaw, Corporate Market (FindLaw's Technologist)
• Judge Allegedly Hides Money for Stripper, Loses Job (FindLaw's Courtside)