Judge Still Doesn't Like Cheese -- Case

If you thought cheese could make you fat, what would you think if you found out it was made of cellulose?

Cheese and crackers! You may as well just inject fat into your thighs. Hook up an IV with liquid cholesterol.

Actually cellulose doesn't make you fat, but we try to do a gouda job reporting here and a cheese case is too good to cut straight. If you think that sounds cheesy, a Chicago judge didn't like it either:

Cheesy Story

"U.S. Judge Shreds Main Claim in Parmesan Cheese Labeling Lawsuit," Reuters reported. So yeah.

Turning back complaints against half a dozen companies, Judge Gary Feinerman said their labels would not mislead a reasonable person into thinking certain products were 100 percent cheese.

He let some defendants go, but kept the heat on Albertsons, Kraft Heinz and Walmart over certain consumer claims. The labels said cellulose was used to prevent "caking," but it was also used as filler.

In the proposed class action, the plaintiffs said they paid too much for what they thought was "100% Grated Cheese."

Aged Story

It wasn't the first time the judge had heard the story. Last year in the multi-district litigation, he said everybody knows cheese includes some additives.

"Cheese is a dairy product, after all, and reasonable consumers are well aware that pure dairy products spoil, grow blue, green, or black fuzz, or otherwise become inedible if left unrefrigerated for an extended period of time," he said.

If those ingredients didn't turn your stomach, you may qualify for jury duty. But watch out for the cafeteria food.

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