We want to offer answers to some of the most common questions about
divorce proceedings and the hundreds of issues people search for every day. But as you research, remember that U.S.
divorce laws differ from state to state. Your exact options and opportunities depend on your jurisdiction: the state, city, and/or county where you live. If you have questions about how the law applies to your situation, talk to a local
divorce attorney.
Starting and Handling the Divorce Process
How Much Does a Divorce Cost?
Every couple (and every state) will have a different answer;
see this chart for some rough estimates. A simple
uncontested divorce could cost little more than court filing fees of a few hundred dollars, but a marriage involving children or property generally costs more. That does not include incidental expenses, such as moving, lodging, or registering legal name changes on government documents.
How Long Does Divorce Take?
The
time required for a divorce depends on the state, the court, and the complexity of the case. State law may require a minimum waiting period before allowing a
divorce filing or entering a
divorce decree. If the couple disputes any issues, the case is likely to take at least several months to resolve. Litigation could extend it beyond a year.
Should I Get a Divorce or a Legal Separation?
Some couples choose legal separation so they can continue to share finances, benefits such as health insurance, and joint decision-making. This may be a wise choice depending on your family’s needs. However, it means remaining legally married, which can preserve rights and responsibilities you no longer want.
Do I Really Need a Lawyer?
Couples with no minor children, no major disagreements, and few assets may be able to manage without a
divorce lawyer. But
family law can be extraordinarily complex, especially when children or retirement benefits are involved.
Family law attorneys can potentially save everyone far more money by creating formal agreements that can prevent future disputes.
Safety and Relationships
How Do I Leave an Abusive Relationship?
If you are not certain of your safety,
consult the National Domestic Violence Hotline for immediate support. Its site can help you
find a shelter and other services for your family. The period when someone is planning to leave or has recently left an abusive relationship can be especially dangerous, so consider making a safety plan with a
domestic violence advocate if doing so is safe.
Consider these tips for forming a safety plan. Requirements for getting a
protective order or restraining order vary by location.
Can I Make My Spouse Leave the House?
A court may issue a restraining order or protective order requiring an offending partner to leave the house. When police officers respond to
a domestic dispute, they may tell one partner to leave temporarily or detain them for the night. However, police cannot create a restraining order; you will need to petition a court for that.
What If My Spouse Has a Substance Abuse Problem?
Divorce from a spouse with alcoholism or a substance use disorder can create additional complications, especially when the couple has children. Review
the options you may have and the potential issues involved.
Money, Benefits, and Property
Who Pays Spousal Support and Benefits?
Alimony (or spousal support) is not the same as
child support or
property division. It may help a lower-earning spouse meet reasonable financial needs after
divorce or, depending on state law, address the economic effects of the marriage and
divorce. The amount generally depends on the length of the marriage, the age and physical condition of the spouse seeking support, and other factors affecting that spouse’s ability to support themselves.
For
divorcing couples, the division of insurance and benefits can become a major issue. Some couples choose a
legal separation to maintain health insurance, while others agree to pay health insurance premiums in their
divorce settlement. Both partners typically have rights to
pension benefits and
401(k) plans that are marital property, and some ex-spouses are eligible to collect
part of their former spouses’ Social Security benefits. An attorney can help determine how to handle these rights under state law.
How Do We Split Assets and Debts?
Money or property earned or acquired during the marriage is generally considered
marital property.
Separate property typically includes premarital assets, gifts, and inheritances, as long as the owner kept them separate. In nine states, including California,
marital property is community property. In general, property acquired during marriage is presumed to be community property, subject to important exceptions and state-specific rules. Other states apply common law, and their courts use several factors to
determine fairness and create an equitable distribution of assets.
Courts generally consider
marital debts and liabilities much as they consider property. In a community-property state, each partner may be responsible for 50 percent of the debts, while an equitable-distribution state could require the court to consider the debt’s purpose when determining a fair division.
Who Keeps the Pets?
Beloved
dogs, cats, and other pets can be fiercely disputed, but in many places, ordinary personal property laws are still the only ones that apply in
divorce. A court could favor the partner who invested the most time and money in the pet or the partner with custody of children who would miss the pet. Only a few courts allow “joint custody” rulings, but
mediation can permit a couple to create their own arrangement.
Child Custody and Child Support
Will I Lose Custody of My Children?
The fear of losing custody often keeps parents in unhealthy marriages, but courts today believe that it is usually in “
the best interests of a child” to have a relationship with both parents. When both parents seek custody, a court may award sole custody to one parent when doing so serves the child’s best interests under applicable state law. Safety concerns are important, but courts may also consider caregiving history, stability, and the child’s particular needs. This can include struggles with
substance abuse or
endangering a child. Even a parent who has had troubles can work to attain visitation rights or shared custody with the help of a
family law attorney.
What Does the Law Say About Paying Child Support?
State laws set the guidelines each court must consider for a
child support order.
Child support commonly depends on both parents’ incomes, the parenting-time arrangement, the number of children, health insurance and
child-care costs, and other factors under state law.
Calculating child support can become increasingly complex with more advanced financial issues or assets, such as providing for special-needs children or college savings.
Parents may reach a
child support settlement, but a court may need to approve it. Because
child support is meant to benefit children, not parents, approval is not guaranteed.
