Custody or Visitation Interference FAQ
By Jade Yeban, J.D. | Legally reviewed by Rhonda Earhart, Esq. | Last reviewed October 15, 2024
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Once a court approves or grants a child custody arrangement or visitation rights, it is up to the co-parents to follow through. Sometimes one co-parent may interfere with the other co-parent's visitation time. When this happens the co-parent may return to court for help enforcing the order.
The child's other parent may interfere with your visitation time with the minor child. They might disregard the parenting plan or prevent phone contact with your child. These are examples of custodial interference and visitation interference.
This article answers some common questions about visitation interference and custody interference issues. You’ll find examples of scenarios where a parent may be violating the custody order, potential legal consequences, and how you can address the situation.
Understanding your rights and potential legal remedies can help you better navigate these challenges. For more information and resources, see FindLaw’s Child Custody Law section.
Frequently Asked Questions and Scenarios
- Should I stop paying my child support to force my ex into giving me more visitation?
- My ex is always late picking up and dropping off our child. Is this custody interference?
- We disagree on decisions regarding our children’s religion, healthcare, and education. Do I have to consult my ex about these things? Is their behavior considered custody interference?
- How can I get my ex-spouse, who has joint custody, to contribute more to our parenting responsibilities?
- Can I stop my child from staying with my ex-spouse if I have sole custody?
- Is there anything I can do to ensure I know of future vacation plans beforehand?
- I fear my ex won't return my children after a parenting visit. What can I do?
- My ex has sole physical custody of our children and plans to move across the country. What can I do?
- Can I prevent parental visits if my ex's apartment is not safe for our infant?
- What should I do if my child does not want to see their other parent?
- Get legal help with a child custody or visitation interference issue
Q: My ex has physical custody of our kids. I am always prompt in sending my support check, but lately, I've felt I don't have enough time with my kids. Is it a good idea to stop paying my child support to force my ex into giving me more visitation?
A: No, it is not a good idea. It could backfire and result in you having less or no time with your children. You could lose parental rights if the lack of payment is accompanied by desertion or abandonment of your children.
Visitation and child support don't have anything to do with each other from a legal standpoint. A judge can hold you in contempt of court for failing to pay child support unless you have a legitimate reason for not paying (such as being seriously injured and unable to work). Courts may impose jail time for failing to pay court-ordered child support under civil or criminal contempt proceedings.
Try having a civil conversation with your ex about having more parenting time with your kids. If that doesn't work, you can request a modification of the visitation schedule in court.
Joint physical custody is another option if you and your ex don't live far apart. This is a shared arrangement where parents share custody of a child. They may spend equal time with the child and make major decisions about the child together. Courts will only grant this option if it doesn't harm the children and the parents show that they can work together.
The courts will make this determination using the best interests of the child standard.
Q: Our visitation order clearly states that my ex must pick up our child at a certain time on a certain day each week. But they are consistently late and sometimes don't bother to show up. This is very hard on our child, and it often interferes with my life. Can I do anything about this?
A: The first step is to talk to your ex and get an understanding of the reasons why they're late or a no-show. If work or family responsibilities are the cause, you may be able to fix the problem with a few simple changes in the parenting time schedule.
If there is no valid reason and you can't find a solution, you can ask a judge to enforce or change the visitation order. You should create a list of all the times the offending parent shows up late or doesn't show up so you have some documentation of the problem. The court will be more interested in learning about how the situation affects your child than how it is inconveniencing you.
It is important to present evidence that focuses on your child rather than you.
Q: I have joint legal custody of my children with my ex. We have difficulty agreeing on decisions regarding their religion, healthcare, and education. Do I have to consult my ex about these things? Is my ex's behavior considered custody interference?
A: Sharing legal custody of a child can present a wide range of problems, especially when the relationship between the former spouses has deteriorated. As tough as it may be, you still need to keep your ex in the loop when it comes to major decisions, as you may violate a court order if you don’t.
If your ex challenges your unilateral decision-making in court, a judge could award them sole legal custody. So, it’s better to comply with the terms of the original order until it can be modified.
As always, you should try as hard as possible to work it out among yourselves before litigating in court. If possible, speak to the other party first to understand the reasoning behind their actions that obstruct your co-decision-making rights. Perhaps, the party with less custodial parenting time feels they don't have enough visitation or parenting time with your children.
Increasing the other parent's visitation time with your children might resolve the issue. A family law attorney can assist you with filing the proper motions and orders to memorialize the agreement and legally amend the current court order.
Q: I have joint legal and physical custody of my children with my ex-spouse. They rarely share the responsibilities of chores or schedules, so I do all the laundry, shopping, and planning. How can I get them to contribute more?
A: First, examine the situation and see if there's a reason why your ex hasn't helped out with these responsibilities. Personal or work issues might prevent them from doing everything they should. They may not even realize that you feel this way.
If possible, talk with your ex and ask them to help. If that doesn't work, send them a cordial letter via email or mail listing the parental duties you seek help with and request that they take over some of them. Consider sending a certified letter if they do not respond. If they do not respond or start pitching in within two or three weeks, you may have to return to court to request that the current order be modified.
Also, think about asking a mediator to step in. Impartial mediators frequently help in a situation like this. Sometimes, a neutral third party specializing in assisting with custody and visitation issues can help you achieve the desired results.
Q: I've had sole physical custody of my teenager for their entire life. My ex recently promised them a car if they agree to live with them instead of me. Can I fight this?
A: Before trying to fight the move, ask yourself if it could be a good choice for your child.
If you still object to the switch, it's within your rights to prevent your teenager from leaving. If you choose to do so, your ex could go to court and ask for a change in the custody order. Judges will generally give greater weight to their preferences when children get older.
That doesn't mean that a judge will rubber-stamp your child’s wish to live with your ex, but it does make it more likely the court will allow them to make his own choice. A change in custody must still be in the child's best interests. The party petitioning the court for the change bears the burden of proving this.
Do not badmouth your ex based on your personal feelings. But, if you think your ex is a danger to your child in any way, you should explain this to both your son and the court (assuming your teenager is old and mature enough to understand your concerns).
Seek advice from a mental health professional or school counselor before sharing your concerns with your child, This can help ensure the language used and information provided is age appropriate. If you speak with a professional, and they have reason to believe your child has been abused or neglected by your ex, they are likely mandated to make a report to Child Protective Services.
You could also avoid court altogether by trying to reach a compromise. Increased visitation might satisfy your ex while allowing you to retain sole custody of your teenager.
Q: Over spring break, my ex took our children on a trip but didn't tell me where they were going. Is there anything I can do to ensure I know of future vacation plans beforehand?
A: Unless your custody and visitation arrangement states otherwise, your ex can take the children wherever they want as long as the trip doesn't place them in danger. And yet it is probably in the children's best interest that you know where they are vacationing in case of an emergency.
First, ask your ex for information about any future vacation plans. Explain that you want to know for safety purposes—not to hinder the plans. If they do not provide the information promptly, send a certified letter that politely repeats your request.
Suppose there is still no response, or your ex indicates a refusal to provide this information in the future. In that case, you should seek legal counsel about modifying your current court order to include this provision. If you do not have legal counsel, you may want to send your ex's attorney a copy. Lawyers can often convince clients to cooperate and amicably settle minor disagreements between the parties.
Suppose your current order addresses this already, and your ex refuses to provide address information. In that case, you can file a motion for an "order to show cause" demanding your ex appear in court and explain why they shouldn't disclose the vacation plans to you. A judge will likely order your ex to tell you the plans, or they could face the consequences of a contempt-of-court finding.
Q: My ex often returns the children late after the scheduled visitation. I'm worried they not return them at all at some point. Is there anything I can do?
A: You may be able to resolve the issue by addressing your ex about the tardiness. They may not realize their actions cause you so much concern. They may not understand how the courts view this kind of parenting time interference or irregularity.
If your ex fails to return the kids, their actions may violate both criminal and civil law by violating the custody and visitation orders you have in place. At this point, law enforcement can step in to recover the children. In some states, the offending parent may be charged with parental kidnapping.
This is a criminal charge. Depending on your state's laws, they may also be liable for civil damages in a contempt proceeding.
Q: My ex has sole physical custody of our children, but I have visitation on alternating weekends. My ex just told me of plans to take a job across the country, which would mean I could only afford to see my kids every few months. What can I do?
A: State laws differ greatly regarding relocation issues. Some states protect the non-custodial parent's right to maintain an ongoing relationship with their children. Other states protect the custodial parent's right to relocate for employment or family reasons.
Try to reason with your ex by explaining your desire to keep seeing your children regularly and laying out your financial limitations. If this doesn't work, you should consult with your attorney to learn more about the laws in your state and possible recourse.
Q: I have an infant child whose father has visitation rights every other weekend. Their father lives in a small apartment that I don’t consider safe for an infant. Their father also doesn't have all necessary items, like a crib, stroller, or infant tub. Can I prevent the visits?
A: It's best to comply with visitation orders lest you commit visitation interference, anger a judge, and risk giving up some of your custodial rights. You can provide what the baby needs and firmly suggest that the father buy the necessary supplies.
Unless the visitation order explicitly states the other parent must buy certain items, they aren’t legally required to do so. But if the items they lack concern the child's safety—like a car seat—you should notify the authorities. Driving without the proper child restraint is against the law and dangerous for the child.
Consider going back to family court to modify the child custody order. Judges will usually require parents to have all reasonable items for the care of the baby.
Q: My child has expressed to me they do not want to spend time with their other parent. We have a joint custody arrangement. Is it parental interference if I honor my child’s wishes and do not force them to spend time with their other parent?
A: Yes, a family court judge would likely consider this parental interference. If there is a court-ordered joint custody agreement, you are legally required to follow it. This is true even if your child does not want to spend time with their other parent.
It is important to understand why your child does not want to spend time with their other parent. Is there an issue or concern that needs to be addressed? This can help find a solution that prioritizes their well-being while adhering to the custody agreement.
Facing Child Custody or Visitation Interference? Get Legal Help
Some custody or visitation questions are very nuanced and can't be easily summarized. Further, your legal options for situations involving a potential move of a child from a home state (or even county) varies by jurisdiction.
A family law attorney can help you navigate state laws. They will help you understand your legal rights related to the lawful custody of your child. They will review your custody agreement and advise you on the best way to secure additional — or enforce existing — court-ordered visitation. Contact a local family law attorney today for legal support with your custody interference issue.
Reach out to a criminal defense attorney if you are facing criminal charges for parental interference. Depending on your state and the specifics of your case, parental interference charges are misdemeanors or even felonies.
A criminal defense attorney can help you defend against contempt-of-court charges. They will also give you valuable legal advice to guide you through your situation.
Can I Solve This on My Own or Do I Need an Attorney?
- Both parents can seek custody of their children — with or without an attorney
- An attorney can help get the custody and visitation agreement you want
- An attorney will advocate for your rights as a parent
A lawyer can help protect your rights and your children's best interests. Many attorneys offer free consultations.
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Don't Forget About Estate Planning
Once new child custody arrangements are in place, it’s an ideal time to create or change your estate planning forms. Take the time to add new beneficiaries to your will and name a guardian for any minor children. Consider creating a financial power of attorney so your agent can pay bills and provide for your children. A health care directive explains your health care decisions and takes the decision-making burden off your children when they become adults.