Questions to Ask Before Choosing a Divorce Lawyer

Some attorneys specialize in handling collaborative divorces. In a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse resolve your divorce issues without going to court. It only works if the spouses agree to an uncontested divorce. The two parties sign a participation agreement stating they’ll act in good faith and fairness.

Once the spouses agree on the material terms of the divorce, they’ll sign a marital settlement agreement. Your attorney submits a copy of this agreement to the court, and the judge will sign it. You will not have to go to court.

If either party refuses to continue the collaborative divorce process, both spouses' attorneys must withdraw from the case. The parties must hire new divorce law attorneys to handle their divorce litigation. The first attorney who dealt with the collaborative divorce process can't represent either party in the divorce case.

Below are some questions you should ask a divorce lawyer before hiring them at your first meeting. The answers to these important questions will help you decide which attorney will reach the best possible outcome in your case.

• What do you handle that I can’t DIY?
• Who will work on my case?
• What is your experience? What practice areas do you handle?
• What are your fees?
• What shouldn’t I tell my ex-spouse?
• How often do my attorney and I need to talk?
• How will I get my paperwork?
• What do I need to schedule a divorce consultation?
• How will my attorney address child support and alimony (spousal support)?
• What is the total cost of a divorce?
• How can I keep divorce costs down?
• How long do divorce cases take?
• Do I have to go to court for a divorce?
• What is split custody vs. joint custody?
• Find the right attorney for you

What Do You Handle That I Can't DIY?

• Family court judges take attorneys more seriously than pro se petitioners. Attorneys understand how family law cases work and are familiar with the local court rules.
• A good attorney should explain how your divorce case will proceed and what they can do to help you along the way.
• Some attorneys offer a combination of options, such as preparing your court forms and representing you in court.

Who Will Work on My Case?

• Sometimes, non-attorneys work on research, create documents, and handle part of the legal process for your lawyer. For example, if you and your spouse have significant assets, your attorney may need to recruit a forensic accountant to help.
• Your attorney should handle most of the work on your case and oversee everyone helping on the case. It may be a red flag if non-attorneys handle most of the work.
• Your attorney should appear in court on your behalf. If the firm sends an associate to cover a motion or hearing, it's OK. But, your family court attorney should handle all important court appearances.

What Is Your Experience? What Practice Areas Do You Handle?

• An attorney should easily explain the different legal areas they handle. Family law should be one of their main areas.
• You can visit your state's bar association’s website to view their experience and past disciplinary action.
• If a family law firm doesn’t have reviews on its website, ask for references from previous clients.

What Are Your Fees?

• Your divorce attorney will charge an hourly rate, flat fee, or request a retainer. The attorney should be completely upfront about how you’ll pay them, even if they can't predict the precise number of hours it will take to resolve your case.
• Typically, a law firm will offer a free initial consultation. This gives you a chance to ask specific questions and explain your situation. Most free consultations take place over a 30-minute phone call. You may also be able to visit the attorney’s office in person.
• Sometimes, paralegals or other staff handle parts of the case. The hourly rate for non-attorney personnel is lower than for a lawyer.
• Most experienced divorce attorneys charge $150 per hour or more.

What Shouldn't I Tell My Ex-Spouse?

• Never discuss your case with third parties, including your soon-to-be ex-spouse or family. This helps ensure you have the best chance at the outcome you want.
• You can tell your ex about generic updates ("You should hear from my attorney soon"), but let your attorney discuss specifics. For example, don't tell your spouse, "We are going to take half your money and go for sole custody."
• An attorney should warn you that your spouse’s attorney will use all your communications with your ex in court.
• Your attorney should tell you never to start a conflict with your spouse or use your children as bargaining chips.
• A good attorney should help guide your interactions with your ex and tell you when to stop contact for the benefit of the case.
• If you are filing for a restraining order due to domestic violence, don’t warn your ex. Your attorney will handle the order of protection and divorce at the same time.

How Often Do My Attorney and I Need to Talk?

• It depends on how complex your case is. Most cases take time, so you can expect to talk to your attorney one to five times a month or a few times a week at the beginning.
• If your case involves criminal charges or domestic abuse claims, you may need daily contact with your attorney.
• Some attorneys will answer quick questions for free, and some will charge you for their time.
• You may communicate with your divorce lawyer via email, phone calls, videos, or in-person meetings. Most attorneys will email you with matters that aren’t urgent or complex but call about more complicated issues.
• A good attorney should ask what method of communication you are comfortable with and for your relevant contact information.

How Will I Get My Paperwork?

• Your attorney will use email for communication and simple file transfers but never for credit card information, bank account numbers, or secure paperwork.
• Many attorneys have secure file-sharing programs, payment portals, and online signing programs. Use a secure system or website to send financial records and documents containing your Social Security number.
• Generally, divorce attorneys no longer use paper mail.
• An attorney should explain the security and the programs you’ll use throughout the process.

What Do I Need to Schedule a Divorce Consultation?

• Your attorney should tell you what to bring. It might involve gathering your assets, records, income statements, and past court judgments.
• Your attorney may also ask you to consider your ideal custody arrangement or division of property.

How Will My Attorney Address Child Support and Alimony (Spousal Support)?

• It is usual for an attorney to say, “It depends," when you ask about these issues. They won’t be able to discuss alimony, child support, or child custody without having your financial information.
• Your attorney may be able to provide a ballpark answer about financial changes or spell out the factors that can affect these matters.

What Is the Total Cost of a Divorce?

• This question has no official answer because it depends on many factors. The attorney you choose should be able to listen to details about your case and give you a ballpark estimate of attorney fees, retainer fees, and cost of the divorce.
• Average divorces in the U.S. cost about $15,000.
• If you have no children or significant assets, your attorney will likely resolve your divorce case faster and cheaper. If you and your spouse don’t get along and disagree about the divorce terms, it will be more expensive and take more time.
• Remember that estimates can change, and having lots of back-and-forth discussions with your attorney will increase the cost.

How Can I Keep Divorce Costs Down?

• A good attorney should be able to listen to your case and point out some money-saving aspects, such as amicable communication with your ex or gathering records in advance.
• You should tell your attorney if your ex has a history of lousy communication or handling conflict poorly. They can look for solutions and prepare for misconduct along the way. This goes for anyone with mental health issues, people with an addiction, alcoholics, or a history of abuse.

How Long Do Divorce Cases Take?

• The divorce process can take anywhere from 60 days to a year or longer. Amicable divorces can move quickly if both parties agree on terms.
• Some states have a mandatory waiting period between filing for divorce and court proceedings, which can be anywhere from 30 days to six months.
• Average divorces in the U.S. take from four to 11 months. Complex divorces often take over a year.

Do I Have to Go to Court for a Divorce?

• A "divorce proceeding" requires you to appear in court at least once.
• An experienced attorney should be able to tell you what to expect if you choose mediation, settle outside of court, or take your case to trial.

What Is Split Custody vs. Joint Custody?

• Your attorney should be able to explain the differences between joint and sole custody in ways you understand. Keep asking for clarification until you understand the court may divide child custody between you and your ex.

Find the Right Attorney for You

Selecting an attorney to help you with your divorce is an important decision. You want to trust them, communicate well, and trust their legal advice. It may take a few free phone consultations before you find the right family law attorney.