What Happens If I Violate My Own Restraining Order?

Restraining orders, or protective orders, are powerful tools in domestic violence cases. They give survivors a legal means to prevent abusers from making contact while they try to get their lives back in order.

Restraining orders limit the abuser's actions. The respondent faces serious penalties for violating a protective order. It is less clear what happens if a victim violates their own restraining order. Can a victim violate a protective order they requested? Are there any penalties if they do?

Understanding a Restraining Order

In domestic violence cases, courts issue orders of protection when one party, the petitioner, needs protection from the respondent. The petitioner is the protected person, and the respondent is the restrained person.

The court order limits the actions of the restrained person. A no-contact order prevents the restrained person from contacting the protected person in any way, including phone calls or by mail. Other orders may require the respondent to:

• Move out of a shared residence
• Pay spousal support or child support
• Pay utility bills, rent, or mortgage payments for the petitioner
• Surrender their firearms to law enforcement
• Stay away from other family or household members

Restraining orders do not place any restrictions on the protected person. The only person who can violate a protective order is the named respondent.

Mutual Restraining Orders

Family court judges may issue mutual restraining orders that prevent both parties from contacting one another. Both parties must request these orders, and judges seldom grant them unless:

• The judge believes both parties were “primary aggressors,” and neither acted in self-defense
• Both parties are at risk of violence from the other

Some legal experts argue that mutual restraining orders do more harm than good for victims of domestic violence. However, they are available for these specific cases.

Temporary Restraining Orders

A temporary restraining order (TRO) is an emergency order issued when a victim needs a protective order before the restrained party can present evidence on their behalf. TROs, sometimes called emergency protective orders, are granted when the petitioner is in immediate danger

The petitioner presents evidence in an ex parte hearing, meaning the respondent is not present. The judge grants the order and sets a hearing date so the respondent can appear in person and answer the allegations in the TRO.

The petitioner must have the TRO served on the respondent before it is effective. Depending on the jurisdiction, TROs usually expire within two weeks to 30 days.

How Can Someone Violate a Restraining Order?

Since these are court orders, violations are considered contempt of court. A violation of the order is a misdemeanor, punishable by jail time of less than one year and fines of up to $1000. Repeated violations could result in felony charges.

Violations must be “intentional and knowing.” If a restrained person encounters a protected person in the grocery store by accident, that is not a violation. If the restrained person knew the protected person always shops at that store on a certain day at a certain time and loiters around the store waiting for them, that is likely a violation.

Restraining order violations alone generally do not result in criminal charges. But, if the violator commits any other criminal offense, it could result in a separate criminal case.

Can a Victim Violate Their Own Restraining Order?

The protected person technically cannot violate their own order. Protective orders only limit the actions of the restrained person. Even if the protected person contacts the restrained person, courts will not charge them with a violation.

However, it is never a good idea for the victim to violate the order or make contact with the other party. The protective order protects the victim from domestic abuse. Contacting the abuser can lead others, including the courts and law enforcement, to believe the order is not necessary. It also sends mixed signals to the restrained person, leading them to believe the victim no longer feels threatened.

What the Restrained Person Should Do

If the protected person “violates” the restraining order and makes contact with them, the restrained person should avoid contact. If the violation is in person, leave immediately. The named subject of the protective order is the one facing charges and possible arrest, even if the other person made contact.

If the situation escalates, the restrained person may need legal advice from a criminal defense attorney. Let the attorney know that the criminal case stems from a restraining order violation.

Changing or Canceling the Restraining Order

One thing the protected person should not do is ignore the restraining order and resume contact with the restrained person as if it no longer existed. The restrained person is the one who violates the order whenever the parties make contact.

If the parties reconcile or the order is not needed, the parties must return to court and ask a judge to cancel the order. Most family law judges put expiration dates on restraining orders, so the parties must return to court after six months or a year to review the case status. If you want a court hearing sooner to terminate the restraining order, you may need an attorney’s help.

The order remains in effect until it expires or a judge changes or cancels it. If you need to change an order but leave parts intact, discuss your case with an attorney.

Get Legal Advice from a Family Law Attorney

You can request some types of protective orders on your own. Others may require help from a family law attorney. If you want your order changed or canceled, you should discuss your court case with an attorney before asking for a hearing. Protective orders give you a defense against an abuser. You can make changes without losing that protection. Discussing the matter with a lawyer can help you make the best choice.