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Top 5 Stupid Criminal Excuses

By Edward Tan, JD | Last updated on

Getting caught in uncompromising positions can lead people to give some pretty dumb reasons for their behavior. But nowhere is stupidity at its finest than when it's a stupid criminal excuse.

We've combed the internet to find the most ridiculous reasons criminals have given to get out of a pair of handcuffs. So, for your cruel enjoyment, here are five of the dumbest excuses ever given to explain a crime.

1) This Isn't a Burglary, We Were Told Everything was Free

A Minnesota couple was caught stealing from a woman's home after the owner saw them running out her back door. Charles and Pernella Bull were arrested by police for first-degree burglary. Instead of copping to their actions, they claimed they read a Craigslist ad listing the woman's residence as a "free house" full of free stuff.

2) These 48 Vials of HGH are for a Medical Condition

Action star Sylvester Stallone plead guilty in an Australian court to two charges of importing banned substances into the country. The actor was busted with 48 bottles of human growth hormones, but claimed he was prescribed the drugs for a medical condition. What was the condition? Stallone never said.

3) I Closed One Eye to Stop Seeing Double So I Could Drive Drunk

A Swedish woman was driving with a blood alcohol level of nearly 0.2 when cops pulled her over. She claimed to be seeing double and told the officers she tried to close an eye to correct the problem. For some reason, the cops still weren't cool with her explanation. She was arrested and got two months in prison.

4) I Shoplifted to Prepare for an Acting Role

Many may remember Winona Ryder's infamous shoplifting scandal back in 2002. The actress received three years probation and 480 hours of community service for the offense. What you might not remember is that she claimed she stole to prepare for an acting role. Much like Stallone, Winona never revealed the supposed movie.

5) I'm A Werewolf

The funniest stupid criminal excuse goes to Thomas Stroup. He was arrested by Ohio cops for underage drinking. Officers found Stroup passed out in a trailer surrounded by swords after residents complained he was starting fights and generally being a jerk. When cops arrived, Stroup claimed he wasn't drunk but that he was scratched by a wolf in Germany and would kill the officer's cousin Keith. By the way, the cop had no cousin named Keith.

Need a good legal defense rather than a bad excuse? An experienced criminal defense attorney is only a click or call away.

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