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Woman Rubs Butt, Tries to Urinate on $30M Museum Painting

By Stephanie Rabiner, Esq. | Last updated on

In an incident befitting a very drunk Scrooge McDuck, a woman last week assaulted a $30 million painting located in Denver's Clyfford Still Museum.

Carmen Tisch, 36, drunkenly dropped trou in front of the 9 1/2-foot by 13-foot canvas and then proceeded to rub her butt on the painting. She then slid down the abstract masterpiece and urinated on herself when she reached the floor.

The painting remained urine free, but was marred by visible scratches.

Those scratches caused at least $10,000 in damages according to the Denver Post. The sizable sum was enough to charge Tisch with class 4 felony criminal mischief, which is just a fancy way of saying "property destruction."

If convicted, she faces 2 to 6 years in prison and a mandatory 3 years of parole. And even if she's not convicted, she still may be held financially liable.

The Clyfford Still Museum can file a civil suit against Carmen Tisch to recover the costs of repairing the damage. It may also be able to recover the value of any resulting decline in the painting's worth.

Restoration and prior damage often impact a painting's value, an art expert told the Denver Post. Being associated with the butt-on-painting story can also end up diminishing the piece's worth.

Carmen Tisch better hope it doesn't, because it appears as though she does not have the money to make amends. Unable to afford her release, MSNBC reports that she's being held on a $20,000 bond until her first scheduled court appearance.

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