Shared Parenting vs. Sole Custody

Few things are as contentious in a divorce as the child custody agreement. In most states, child custody and visitation are separate from the rest of the divorce process. The parties and their attorneys may agree on everything else, but child custody arrangements may need the intervention of judges and mediators.

In general, courts always consider the best interests of the child before the desires of the parents. In most states, judges and parents work together to decide what arrangement best suits the child's needs. Family law courts have a range of alternatives to fit the parents' demands to the child's best interests.

Types of Child Custody Arrangements

Custody of a child involves more than the child's living arrangements. Most parental arguments revolve around who the child will live with and who has the final say over schooling and discipline.

Family courts use different terms for types of custody arrangements. In general, they are defined as follows:

• Physical custody refers to the location where the child spends the most time. State laws encourage joint physical custody whenever possible. In a typical joint custody arrangement, the child spends an equal amount of time with each parent.
• Legal custody involves decisions about the child's upbringing. It covers medical decisions, education, discipline, and other parental responsibilities. Parents generally have joint legal custody unless there is a valid reason to deny one parent's decision-making ability.
• Joint custody or "shared parenting" is the child custody arrangement preferred by most courts today. It gives both parents an equal say in the child's life.
• Sole custody gives one parent all parental responsibility. Judges generally grant sole custody only when necessary for the child's welfare.

If someone has "full" custody, this usually means they have sole physical and legal custody.

What Is the Difference Between Full Custody and Shared Custody?

In sole physical custody, the child lives full-time with one parent. The other parent may have visitation rights. Judges award sole physical custody when the parents' living arrangements are unsuitable for joint custody. For instance, one parent may live too far from the child's school to make shared custody practical.

Sole legal custody is only granted when the courts terminate one parent's parental rights for some reason. In general, both parents have equal rights to make decisions for their children. Other reasons for granting sole legal custody may include:

• If one parent is adjudicated incompetent
• If one parent is incarcerated
• If the judge determines the parent is unfit due to substance abuse or mental illness

Shared custody or joint custody works when the parents can work together to make important decisions for their minor children. In a shared custody agreement, parents have joint physical custody.

Courts usually prefer a 50/50 arrangement, where the child spends an equal amount of time with both parents. Parents can make any scheduling arrangement they choose. Most state laws base child support payments on the number of days the child spends with each parent.

Co-parenting plans should allow regular visitation time with the non-custodial parent, whether in-person or virtual visits. Parenting time is a source of intense discussion between divorcing parents. Courts often have standardized visitation schedules if parents cannot agree between themselves.

Parenting Arrangements

When both parents agree on a shared parenting plan, judges usually accept it as long as it is equitable to both parents. An equitable arrangement does not mean equal parenting time. It is equitable as long as both parents agree with the visitation and custody time.

Courts may not approve shared parenting plans when:

• There are allegations of domestic violence or sexual abuse
• The plan is grossly unfair to one parent
• The plan falls outside the state's required guidelines

Shared parenting time requires both parents to communicate about their child's welfare without arguing. But parents don't have to meet in person for shared parenting time to work. Courts will accept or suggest other methods like text, Facetime, or other court-ordered remote access.

Sole Custody Petitions

In contested divorces, parents often sue for sole physical and legal custody. To do this, parents must demonstrate to the court the other parent is "unfit." These custody cases can get ugly, in and out of court fights.

However, some parents agree to sole custody arrangements for practical reasons. One parent may receive sole custody because:

• The other parent travels out of state or out of the country, and it is impractical to share custody
• Shared custody would be too disruptive for the child because of age or special needs
• One parent does not want the responsibility of physical custody of the child

As long as the agreement provides a way for the parent-child relationship to continue, judges accept most parental custody agreements, even sole custody arrangements.

Modifying a Custody Agreement

A custody agreement is a court order. Like any court order, the parents must follow it. However, unlike many other orders, a custody order is designed for a child who will grow and change over the years. A custody agreement that works for a small child will be less effective for a teenager.

A good custody agreement should contain provisions for modification. Parents sometimes modify their arrangement informally without advising the judge. Modifying a custody agreement or any court order without letting the court know is never a good idea.

Parents who need to modify their custody agreement should speak to a family law attorney and have their agreement altered to reflect their new agreement.

Get Legal Advice from a Family Law Attorney

The child's well-being comes first in any parenting agreement. Courts want both parents to remain involved in their child's life after a divorce.

If you are considering a divorce or have an existing custody agreement that needs to be modified, speak to a family law attorney in your area. They can help you protect your parental rights and find the best solution for your unique case.